In Which America Wants Germany's Pants
by Deanstiel's Daughter
Summary: (ONESHOT, WARNING CRACKFIC!) America gets beaten up by Germany again and wants to know what the source of his power is? America determines it's his leather pants and decides to steal them...with the Allies help!


**Warning, this is cracktastic!**

**Song and original idea/YouTube video by GermanysLeatherPants**

**The song mentioned is a parody look up the video if you want to hear it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the parody song, the video I based this off of, or the original Lady Gaga songs.**

ONESHOT

Alfred held his bruised arm and head.

"God damn it," he said. "I can't believe Germany beat me again, man that guy is powerful!"

Alfred walked into the Allies meeting. Arthur looked over.

"Are you alright America?" he asked.

"Yeah," Alfred sighed. "I just wish there was some way to defeat Germany once and for all so he'd stop beating all of us up."

"Look who is talking non," Francis said. "You're ze one who keeps getting beat up!"

Alfred thought for a moment and suddenly he had an answer.

"Guys," Alfred exclaimed. "I know how we're going to defeat Germany once and for all!"

"Let me guess," Arthur said sarcastically. "We're going to challenge him to a child's card game?"

"No you idiot," Alfred said. "We're gonna take from him the source of his awesome power and use it against him!"

"And what might that be?" Arthur asked.

"His leather pants!" Alfred said.

Everyone looked at Alfred like he was insane.

"Seriously?" Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Yes," Alfred said. "Come on guys lets go get those leather pants."

Alfred sprung up and grabbed Arthur's hand and dragged him off.  
>"I guess I had nothing better to do today…" Arthur said.<p>

Hetalia – Hetalia – Hetalia – Hetalia – Hetalia

"Oh woah woah oh oh oh," Alfred sang as they crouched in the bushes. "Let's take his leather pants!"

"What are you doing?" Arthur asked.

"Singing the awesome song I just parodied," Alfred smiled. "It's a parody of Bad Romance, you like?"

"Ha-ha hah hah hah ha-ha," Alfred sang. "We want his leather pants."

"Please don't get that song in my head aru." Yao said.

"Take off his leather pants." Alfred sang.

Arthur face palmed himself.

"I'm getting ready my legs have been waxed," Alfred joked as he sang. "Cuz when we get them I am wearing his slacks right on my tush."

"America will you shut up," Arthur placed a hand on Alfred's mouth. "It's bad enough you drag us along on this silly mission of yours but then you make up an annoying song to go with it!"

"We want his trousers, his breeches, his chaps," Alfred sang some more just because he knew he was annoying Arthur and the other allies. "No you can't get his pants from shopping at Gap, their service sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, it really sucks!"

"I hate to encourage him," Ivan said. "But aren't you ragging on your own company by saying that?"

Arthur face palmed again.

"Give me those binoculars," Arthur exclaimed. "Now be quiet or else Germany and the Axis will hear you!"

Arthur knew Alfred wasn't going to stay quiet and hey if you can't beat them, join them!

"You know that we want them," Arthur found himself singing. "And you know that we need them, we want the pants his leather pants."

"Me and the allies we will have our revenge, all of us will take his leather pants," Alfred sang. "Me and the allies we will have our revenge, all of us will take his leather pants, oh woah…"

The other allies just stared at the pair of lunatics before them.

"He better give us the effing pants!" Alfred sang…a little too loudly.

Ludwig turned his head.

"Vat vas that?" he asked Feliciano.

"I don't know." Feliciano sing songed back.

"Oh way to go America," Francis whispered. "Now he'll find us for sure!"

"Don't worry," Arthur said. "He's turning around."

"Blah blah hahah, za za, mama mia," Alfred whisper sang. "We want his leather pants!"

"We don't want vinyl, or geenos, or briefs," Alfred pointed at Arthur. "I am a criminal and he is thief, because we're hot…"

"Hot, hot, hot," Alfred joked. "We are quite sexy…"

"America that doesn't even rhyme…" Arthur said.

"Shut up I am Lady Gaga!" Alfred replied.

"I have watched psycho and I liked vertigo," Alfred just didn't know how to stay on topic. "The birds was ok, ooo I love rear window, by Alfred Hitchcock, cock, cock, cock, we love Hitchcock!"

Arthur gave him a weird look.

"He knows that we want them," Arthur shrugged. "And he knows that we need them, we want the pants his leather pants."

"Me and the allies we will have our revenge, all of us will take his leather pants," Alfred sang. "Me and the allies we will have our revenge, all of us will take his leather pants…"

"Oh woah, woah, woah, woah we want those leather pants," Alfred sang, trying to hold in his laughter. "Come on guys, let's steal his leather pants!"

"Ta, ta, mama ma, baba, wah, wah, wah, za, za, za, take off his leather pants," Alfred was giggling now. "Gaga, rah, rah, rah, la, la, cha, cha, cha, I like these silly noises."

Arthur rolled his eyes.

"On my signal," Arthur sighed. "We…go take his leather pants, on three…One, two three!"

"Wear, wear leather baby," Alfred sang into Arthur's ear. "Work it, move your tush it's sexy!"

Alfred repeated himself a couple of times.

"He has serious problems." Francis said.

"Wear, wear leather baby, work it," Alfred exclaimed as they ran down the hillside into the Axis camp. "I'm an evil bitch baby!"

Alfred ran straight up to and unsuspecting Ludwig and pushed him to the ground, standing over him, he continued his song.

"We want your pants," Alfred sang. "And I want my revenge, we want your pants and we're really just friends…"

"I am not your friend!" Yao exclaimed.

Alfred suddenly sang a bunch of random, horrible French.

"Why am I speaking French," Alfred sang. "Why am I speaking French, I don't wanna be French," we want your leather pants…"

Francis walked up behind Ludwig and pulled him up in a seductive manner.

"Take off your freaking pants…" Francis sang for once.

"Me and the allies we will have our revenge," Alfred sang as he begun to take off Ludwig's pants. "All of us will take your leather pants, me and the allies we will have our revenge, all of us will take your leather pants…"

"We want the freaking pants!" Alfred continued to sing.

"Let's get his leather pants!" Arthur sang too.

"I vant to know vhy zey are all singing!" Ludwig exclaimed.

"Take off those freaking pants!" Francis sang.

"Remove his effing pants." Ivan sang.

"Hahahahah," Alfred laughed and then finished his song. "We got the leather pants!"

Ludwig fell on the beach on his butt and looked up at Alfred, who had truly removed his pants.

"At last I have the source of Germany's power," Alfred exclaimed. "His leather pants are finally mine!"

"You mean us America?" Arthur asked.

"Don't be difficult Britain," Alfred said. "Only one of us can wear the pants!"

Arthur rolled his eyes yet again.

"Ok fine America," Arthur smiled. "Although I didn't know you were that keen to get into Germany's pants?"

Everyone laughed, well except for Ludwig and the other axis powers that had been tied up somehow by Francis.

"You know what on second thought Britain dude," Alfred said handing the pants over. "You put them on!"

"What the holy fuhrer is going on," Ludwig exclaimed. "Why did you remove mein trousers?"

"It's over Germany dude," Alfred said. "Now we are the one's wearing the pants!"

"Yes behold," Arthur stepped forward and wore Ludwig's pants. "Now the true source of your power…well according to America is clenched tightly around my buttocks!"

"Vat don't be absurd," Ludwig shot up from the ground. "My leather pants aren't the source of my power!"

"Ha," Arthur laughed at Alfred. "I told you idiot!"

"Wait what they're not," Alfred exclaimed. "But dude it was so fricken obvious!"

"Nein, nein, nein," Ludwig smiled and decided to have a little fun with Alfred, he pointed down to his leather boots he was wearing. "I'm afraid my power comes from my leather shoes!"

"No way dude," Alfred exclaimed. "There aren't even any Lady Gaga songs that rhyme with shoes, damn you Germany and your axis of evil!"

Kiku and Feliciano were trying so hard not to laugh.

"I really do like the pants." Arthur admired himself.

"Yes," Alfred smiled. "They really do look good on you?"

"Can I have those back now?" Ludwig asked.

"No." Arthur laughed.

"Fine then you'll never get my leather shoes!" Ludwig suddenly took off running.

Alfred and the other allies were shocked at one another.

"We've got to get those leather shoes!" Alfred exclaimed.

The allies took off running.

"Fine then," Arthur said. "But this time I get to sing!"

"Can't beat my, can't beat my," Arthur sang. "No you can't beat my leather shoes; I have got some leather shoes…"

"Dude," Alfred rolled his eyes. "You're totally failing bro-hah, my song was so better!"

"God damn it," All the other allies exclaimed. "Now we've got Lady Gaga in our heads!"

**Why yes I am an idiot? XD**

**I don't know what possessed me to make this besides the obvious.**

**Hope yall enjoyed reviews are welcome!**


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